Sunday, May 9, 2021
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Tales of the Scruffy City

Yes, 5 shots of Jack will get you a DUI And  what would an installment of this column be without at least one idiot catching a truly legendary buzz and then getting behind the wheel? We have...
Your brain on crack cocaine  Most of us, when we get wasted on the chemical intoxicant of our choice, actively try to avoid interacting with members of the law enforcement community. In fact, we’ll usually go...
A little “parking,” running is good exercise  Ah, youth.  While many 20th century traditions seem to be fading into obscurity, it’s good to see at least one is still being honored by kids today: finding a quiet...
Knox’s Fell Beast of the Air Some advice to future outlaws, in two words: gym memberships. You see, outlaws aren’t usually in the best of shape if they make it out of their early 20s.Too much booze,...
Erratic behavior  For a police officer, the phrase “erratic behavior” covers a truly mind-boggling range of human actions. A woman screaming incoherently at a display of tomatoes at the corner grocery store? Erratic behavior. Sobbing uncontrollably...
Now THAT sounds like a party  Police reports have a standardized format and a vocabulary all their own, but rarely are they as literal as the one that was filed to describe the following incident. The time:...
Triple Crown of drunken idiocy  One DUI should be enough for anyone of normal appetites, right? Two or more is just greedy, or gluttonous, or something else equal parts infuriating and pathetic. Deputy Dennis Sosville Knox County...
One year ago, the sky began falling across the United States. The COVID-19 pandemic had officially arrived. Some people panicked, some people pontificated, and some people battled  for toilet paper.  On March 16, 2020, hundreds of...
World’s oldest professions  If selling sex is truly the World’s Oldest Profession, then extortion has got to be right behind it.  After all, how long do you think it took the first cave lady of the evening...
“Mush mouthed and thick tongued” Knox County Sheriff’s Office Deputy Joshua Hodge was wrapping up a call on Parkside Drive just before midnight Feb. 13 when the previously quiet night suddenly turned, well, not so quiet. “I...